Asshat Opera Company presents: Das Rheingold (Rhinegold)

Yes, I had to go do another one of these; it's probably worse than the the last one. You have been warned.

Dramatis Personae

  WOGLINDE, WELLGUNDE, FLOSSHILDE   Rhinemaidens (daughters of the River)
  ALBERICH       a dwarf (soon to be CEO and Chairman of the Board, Niebelheim)
  WOTAN (Odin)   Head God dude (complete with eyepatch, Spear, and ravens)
  FRICKA         his wife, Goddess of Marriage, Home, Knitting, and Tea Cozies
  FREIA          her sister, Goddess of Love, Fertility, and Leather Swimwear
  DONNER (Thor)  her brother, God of Thunder
  FROH           his brother, God of Rainbows (no, really)
  FASOLT, FAFNER the Giants
  LOGE (Loki)    God of Fire and General Mischief
  MIME           Alberich's brother and VP Advanced Technology
  ERDA           Goddess of the Earth, mother of, well, everything

The Act

(Yes, there's only one of these. Meaning no intermissions. Take your bathroom break now.)

Scene 1

[Orchestra begins with the longest Eb in Western music;
 at least one horn player dies of asphyxiation before it's complete.
 We then layer on the "Nature" motif and the "Rushing Water / Rhine" motif,
 until finally the curtain opens and we see ...]

( and so on... )